Slow Reading: Why I'm Not Worried About My Reading Goals

A book is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face.  It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy.  

~ Edward P. Morgan

Beginning in January, I am participating in the One Page a Day Challenge.  Hopefully by the end of the year, I'll have 365 pages worth editing.  I’m also trying to follow My Plan for 2014.  I may need therapy by December.  Oh wait…

I

haven’t written in a while.  I wish I could say it’s because I’m burning through my TBR list and getting ready to break my 2013 GoodReads record for books read.

But the truth is I’m tired.  And ready to slow down a little.  The body and the spirit were not made to be run at a frenetic pace.  It’s no wonder we crash and burn – some of us literally – when we have longer commutes, higher expectations at work and at home, and time spent with family or with friends is almost never just restful thanks to social media and the invention of the smartphone.

So right now, I am proudly eight books behind on my reading challenge.  Why proud?

Because I am taking the time to read thoughtful books and not just penny paranormals.  Not that penny paranormals aren’t fun or can’t have profound moments in them.

But I have had a hankering to delve back into the non-fiction world as a reader and not just a writer.  This means it will take more time to finish reading, especially when I’m writing (or highlighting on my Kindle app) in the margins and making notes to research more about minor subjects that come up.

The first non-fiction I read this year was Gary Paulsen’s Winterdance, a book about his first run of the Iditarod Dog Sled Race up in Alaska.  I never thought a dog musher could be a poet, but that man has the gift of poetically capturing the beauty, grandeur, and danger of Mother Nature.   

Image credit: Google search

His a man’s man, so you have to take the good with the bad, just as he did when running his dogs.  If I were facing impossible odds, over 100 miles per hour winds and snowstorms, I’d let loose a few choice words myself!

Reading Winterdance has renewed my taste for wilderness writing.  So now I’ve begun John Muir’s (my favorite book boyfriend – wait, does he count for that, since he’s the author – and dead to boot?)  Travels in Alaska. 

And I’m back in wilderness and writerly paradise.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

What to join me in taking the slow road?  Read more about taking it slow over at Chatting at the Sky!

The Artistic Soul: Finding Sanctuary

He appeared upon the upper platform, still bearing the gipsy in his arms, still running wildly along, still shouting 'Sanctuary!' and the crowd still applauding. At last he made a third appearance on the summit of the tower of the great bell. From thence he seemed to show exultingly to the whole city the fair creature he had saved; and his thundering voice, that voice which was heard so seldom, and which he never heard at all, thrice repeated with frantic vehemence, even in the very clouds, 'Sanctuary! Sanctuary! Sanctuary!

~ Victor Hugo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

E

very artist needs a sanctuary.

A place of positive energy where imagination and creativity can live and play without fear of judgment or censure.   A cocoon where your ideas can grow and evolve; a room of safety and nourishment.  A greenhouse for ideas.

There is a Season

A good gardener knows that you cannot transplant before the root system is established and the plant has grown strong enough to withstand the changing environment outside.  Put it in the ground too soon, and the sun will scorch the tiny leaves, and excess rain will drown and rot the tender roots.  But transplant at the right time, and the plant will adapt, grow, and thrive despite (or because of) Mother Nature’s volatile personality.

So too with creative ideas.  They need time to grow, and put down roots before being exposed to an outside opinion.

In other words, criticism is a lot like manure: too fresh, and the plants burn to death.  But put on at the right time, and you'll get the sweetest watermelons you've ever tasted!

In How I Wrote My First Book: The Story Behind the Story, author Christine Amsden quotes Orson Scott Card as saying that “before a writer can turn out worthy material, each one will generate at least one million words of pure crap.” 

Yes, there is a time for critiques, edits, ink-filled pages balled up in the trash, painted-over canvases, and discarded notes and lyrics.  But not when the ideas are just beginning to sprout.  You need the time and the space to create your one million words/canvases/music notes of crap. 

And you can’t do that unless you have a sanctuary.

Definition

So just what is a sanctuary?

The Etymology Dictionary defines “sanctuary” as

from Late Latin sanctuarium "a sacred place, shrine,” also "a private room.”  By medieval Church law, fugitives or debtors enjoyed immunity from arrest in churches, hence transferred sense of "immunity from punishment" (late 14c.).

General (non-ecclesiastical) sense of "place of refuge or protection" is attested from 1560s; as "land set aside for wild plants or animals to breed and live" it is recorded from 1879. Under English law, one claiming the right of sanctuary had 40 days to confess and accept permanent banishment.

So not just any greenhouse, but a sacred, private greenhouse, free from punishment.



Ahhh, if only!



Sanctuary. . .from Who or What?

Some artists are blessed enough to have such a room or studio, a place where they can imagine and create undisturbed.  This would be Elysium, and for most artists, it seems just as elusive.  So what if you can’t afford ~ either in time or money ~ such a sacred space?

The key phrase in the definition is free from punishment. 

Even if your sanctuary is a desk in the corner of the living room, or a spot at the kitchen table (some artists actually create better when surrounded by chaos), the most important aspect is that it is designated as an “Artistic Zen Zone.”  While you are imagining and creating, no one is allowed to look at your work in progress.  No one is allowed to criticize, comment, or otherwise offer negative opinions ~ no matter how “helpful” they may seem.

And that “no one” includes you.

Because, let’s be honest.  Our harshest critic is sitting in our chair, looking at the blank page/canvas/etc and saying,  

“You can’t do this.” 

“It’s been done before, and by better artists.” 

“Who wants to read what you think?”

“Your mother/father was right: you should have majored in business.”

Nuh uh.  Not allowed.  As Bob Newhart would say, “Stop It!”



Far from the maddening crowd. . .and nosy family members!

Imagining the Good

Artists are blessed with vivid, very active imaginations.  Mine runs like a film, complete with soundtrack, almost 24/7.  So why do we use this incredible power to imagine what we cannot or should not do!? 

I will be the first to admit my guilt here.  I am very good at imagining all the negative things people will say about anything I write, or wear, or cook, or think.  So good at it in fact, that I feel the negative emotions that comes from the imagined criticisms.  This is not healthy, either for the creative spirit, or the body. 

If the whole point of imagining is to bring that imagined idea, story, character, etc, into existence, then by imagining the negative, we are bringing that idea into existence.  If you imagine that you can’t write that novel, then you won’t.  If you don’t believe in it, it doesn’t have a chance.

So, first rule of the creative sanctuary?  You don’t talk about “I can’t.”  The second rule?  Let go and plant as many imagnative seeds as you want.

There will be plenty of time for weeding and pruning later in the season.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

Do you have a sanctuary?  What does it look like?

La Belle's Hobby Farm: Moving Back: Was the Sacrifice Too Great?

A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world. 
~ Lois Wyse

 

M

oving back to the country was the right decision.  But it came with its share of sacrifices ~ the greatest one being the increase in physical distance from my community of friends and neighbors. 

It took me over ten years to build a strong support system and while my friends are still here for me and I for them, the amount of insane traffic in between us, not to mention our busy schedules, make frequent face to face meetings near impossible.  Some would say this should make the friendships all the more precious.  And it does.  But lately, I find the distance  depressing.

When you only live a few minutes from one another, friendship and community thrives on the little things:

-         The spontaneous phone call or text that says ~ “What are you doing right now?  Wanna grab a cup of coffee and hang out?”

-         The unexpected knock on the door and invitation to walk around the block.

-         The spur of the moment movie night

Don’t get me wrong ~ planned get togethers are great too; it’s just that the spontaneous aspect is completely gone and the planned outings are few and far between.  What good is being out in the country, trying to live a local, peaceful, sustainable lifestyle when your friends aren’t around to pour the Fair Trade tea for?

The Winter Garden 

My garden is a reflection of my heart ~ a sad, little weather-beaten plot, a dull brownish grey, covered in last year’s leaves and yesterday’s leftovers.  The one bright spot: a lone rosemary plant standing brave and tall and lushly green and fragrant. 

Rosemary for remembrance. 

Remembrance that winter doesn’t last forever.  That all that dead and decaying leaves and compost that looks so ugly on the surface has actually enriched the soil, kept the bumblebees warm, and protected last year’s seeds, making this year’s harvest more abundant and sweet. That I can use my garden’s dormant season to plan and buy seeds to plant in the spring.

The heart also has its dormant season ~ a time to rest and contemplate and just be.  I tend to ride the social merry-go-round without ever taking a break, and for my personality type, that’s destructive.  As much as I hate it, I need to hibernate from time to time so I can re-center and remember who I am and what’s important to me.  And what’s important are strong supportive relationships.

So maybe it’s time to start tilling new ground, while not forgetting to weed the old.  Maybe it’s time to grow some new old friends to add to my heart’s garden.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

Do you make your friendships a priority?  If not, why?  And if you do, what are some things you do to keep the path of friendship well-worn?

Creatively Bored: or "No, I'm Not Distracted, I'm Thinking!"

Don't give up before the miracle happens.

~ Fannie Flagg

F

or the iNtuitive Feeler, brilliant ideas are to be had at will: they are as numerous as the stars, and more often than not, just as untouchable.  And yet, the moon was once thought unreachable.

The problem is not that one dreams the impossible, it is that one fails to make the dream a reality.  NF’s are exciting, creative, and are often gifted in many different areas.  However, they are sometimes easily bored, discouraged or distracted, which leads to the failure of many of their varied projects. 

This is especially true of the ENFP (Extroverted iNutitive Feeling Perceiving). 

For a long time, I described myself as an introvert.  But no one believed me.  I found joy in most of life and laugh quite a lot.  And as you know, I like to entertain and throw parties, and I love people.  Such goings on would frighten make an introvert run for the hills!

But an ENFP needs to have alone time to center and meditate.  Otherwise, the water runs out and boredom, despair and discouragement fill in the cracks and crevices left behind.  This is the pattern of my life.  Sometimes I forget to center.  More often, I just can’t find the time to be alone. Or to set the proper boundaries so I am left alone.

Those are dark days.



Where an NF wants to be sometimes...



But recently, I discovered something.  That on those dreadful days when I’m running low on dream fuel and am bored to pieces over simply everything, ideas are born.  And that I’m not alone in this strange place of creative boredom.  That creating something new and beautiful when I should be doing something entirely uncreative and boring is kind of normal.

Whoa.

That’s what Austin Kleon says.  And he’s an artist and a writer.  So it must be true! At the least, it is true for a good many creative people, of which NFs are one group.  In his book, Steal Like an Artist, Kleon says

Take time to be bored. . . .Creative people need time to just sit around and do nothing. . . .Take time to mess around. Get lost. Wander. You never know where it’s going to lead you.

Or in other words, take something negative (boredom) and make something positive out of it (creativity).  We’ve all heard that it's good to step away from a project in order to gain a new perspective on it.  And often, that leads to fresh ideas, editing, or a complete re-write.  Well, that’s what NFs do; only we step back by fiddling with another project.  And being alone with our creative thoughts now and then.  



So show some love to the NFs ~ give them lots of encouragement and some space.  You may think we’re abandoning you, but we are as loyal and affectionate as puppies ~ we’ll be back and more creative then ever.



I feel so much more affectionate  after my alone time!
Romeo & Juliet, Sir Frank Dicksee

NFs ~ love yourself enough to set aside alone time.  You’ll actually have more creativity to give if you do.  And dream big, impossible dreams.

Just remember to continue dreaming once you wake up.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

When is the last time you scheduled alone time? Did you think you were being selfish for doing so?  What do you do to get out of a discouraged mindset?

I Ain't Stupid!: Discovering the Artist Within

The way we imagine ourselves to appear to another person is an essential element in our conception of ourselves.  In other words, I am not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am.
I am what I think you think I am.

~ Robert Bierstedt

F

or years I believed I was lazy, unfocused, stupid, scatter-brained, and perhaps a little ADD.  I would sit and try to focus on a task, but one sentence, one word, and my mind immediately made ten different associations.  And those ten led to ten ideas each.  And so on.

Then I found out that I had a higher than average IQ.

Ok, so what? The knowledge of my brain capacity didn’t help me feel any less stupid.  Why couldn't I just follow directions?  It’s simple, stupid ~ just go from A to B to C to get to D.  It didn’t matter if I reached the correct conclusion or answer just by looking at the problem; I had to show the steps I had taken to get there.  But that only led to heart-scarring angst for a pupil who longed to please, and frustrated teachers who saw great potential, but were not educated about personality types and the different ways children learn.   As hard as I tried, I couldn’t tell them how I got the answer, I just knew. 



The Crystal Ball, J.W. Waterhouse



Add “smart-ass” to my list of labels.

Many moons later, I was given the Myers-Briggs personality test and discovered that I was an iNtuitive.  And that I was among only 1% of the population.

A whole new life opened up for me. 

I continued to dance to my own music, but this time with a freedom and confidence I had never known.  Finally, I could be at peace with my identity/personality.  Now, that doesn't mean that I don't feel lazy and unfocused at times, but now I have a context.  I understand how my brain – both the neocortex (sometimes called the rational brain) and the limbic system (commonly called the emotional brain) works and how I uniquely process and use the information I take in.

Consequently, I could also now be more patient with others with different personalities.   Just like I lived with the mismatched labels that had been stuck on me, the other fifteen personality types also had mismatched labels that I had given them. 

Sensitives still manage to get on my nerves ~ patience is not one of my virtues.  But with my new-found knowledge, I no longer view them as slow and stupid; rather, I recognize that they are more detail-oriented and methodical, two strengths which I don’t always tap into.

And I’m still a smart-ass.   

But now I’m a confident and creative one!

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

Next week, we look a little deeper into an iNtuitive’s so-called faults and how to use them to unlock creativity.  In the meantime, share with us: were you mis-labeled? How did you cope?  And what led you to realize your gifts and strengths?