Top Five Friday: Why I Write

That's why I write, because life never works except in retrospect.

You can't control life; at least you can control your version.

 ~ Chuck Palahniuk, Stranger Than Fiction

In August, I’m participating in BlogHer’s Blogging Challenge.  The theme this month is: Hot.

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hy do you write?

No one ever asks a civil engineer builds bridges.  Or why a stockbroker does...whatever it is stockbrokers do.  They may ask instead what led them to choose that particular career or field of study.

But creatives get asked this question all the time. Just insert your medium of choice ~ why do you paint/dance/sing, etc.  It isn’t always asked with a condescending or disbelieving tone.  Sometimes it’s just mildly curious.  But sometimes it is.  Perhaps because creative careers are known for being less than lucrative ~ unless you’re the newest sensation or can market yourself like a mythical god.  Starving artists are real after all.

Or more likely to have a day job to help pay the bills.

On the flip side, I bet stockbrokers, engineers, and whoever else gets a pass on this question never hear: “Your work made me cry” (well maybe accountants and tax people hear that), or “That spreadsheet really moved me.”  The bankers, engineers, scientists, accountants, etc ~ their work is necessary.  But it isn’t beautiful.  It’s pragmatic.  But not soul-stirring.  It may even make the world go “round.  But it doesn’t power the heaven of the soul.

Hopefully my art(s) make some heart-warming contributions.  I write because:

Like Byron, I Would “Go Mad”

There is a lot of stuff in this little head.  Ideas for stories, poems, plays, songs.  Ideas for how to grow a better garden next year.  Even ideas for new crafts, costumes, parties, and even  ~ideas for new businesses.  Not to mention, I am always meditating and reflecting.  All those thoughts need to go somewhere. Preferably not off into the wild blue yonder never to be seen again.

I Love Words

Maybe that makes me a verbal learner.  I think it also makes me a visual learner, because no matter what anyone is saying, I have to write it down, or see it written down, in order to retain it.  And words are definitely the way to my heart.  I like actions too, but a finely worded letter or essay gets me every time.

There’s a Story to Tell

Sometimes it’s a short story.  Sometimes it’s a novel.  It might be only the length of a status update.  Or a letter written to a friend.  Even seemingly dull moments in life can have splashes of colour in the telling.  And someone is always open to hearing a story.  Which leads to my next reason for writing.

Someone Is Always Listening

I believe everything happens for a reason.  My life seems to serve as a warning to others more often than not!  But no matter what my experiences, someone is always out there, open to learning, open to hearing.  Open to encouragement, and change, and unconditional love and acceptance.

I Cannot Not Write

Even when I’m not writing with a pen, I’m typing on the computer, or composing things in my brain.  I have even dreamed of myself writing (I can even tell you what the desk looks like ~ but not what I’m writing).  When I’m not writing something profound for the ages, I’m doodling.  Or writing in the margins.

When the world is coming to an end, and there’s no electricity, no pens and pencils left, and probably no one left to read what I write anyway, I’ll pick up a charred stick from the fires of the apocalypse, and write my farewells on whatever flat surface is available.

Because I'm a writer.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

What is your passion?  What drives you to do it?

Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling

Going to the mountains is going home.

~ John Muir

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xcept that it isn’t raining.

Adjusting to life after Alaska has been surprisingly difficult.  At first I thought it must be the staying-up-until-midnight-because-it-looks-like-it’s-only-six habit + jet lag + the return to a lower elevation + the unexpected emergency room visit just three days after my return that was draining my energy and yet keeping me awake. 

Now I suspect, that in addition to all those factors, my recurring insomnia, ennui, and ongoing fatigue is also the result of what I’m calling “sanctuary deprivation.”

Drawing from a Dry Well

In the deepest recesses of my heart, I am an introvert.  Quite often, I draw energy from being around people, especially people who send me positive vibage.  What?  Shakespeare made up words!  But after a while, I need to find a quiet place to be alone to just meditate, re-center, and rest.  If I don’t, I get blue and cranky.

Very cranky.

Being in Alaska was such an interesting experience, one that changed me on a deep level.  I was surrounded by people, but they loved and accepted me.  And then I had moments of blissful alone time to absorb and reflect and create.  It was the best of both worlds ~ my two sides coming together perfectly.

As I mentioned last week, having a sanctuary is absolutely essential ~ to everyone, but especially to artistic souls.  And while my time in Alaska was healing, the dry well that had become my soul had many months of drought to overcome.  And sadly, I do not have a permanent sanctuary here at home.  So what little water had refilled the well has already been depleted by constant over-watering (smothering) and excessive heat (negativity).

Consequently, I am dangerously close to drawing up only sand again.

If Wishes Were Horses. . .

At this stage, I am not sure what the solution is.  My ideal would be to move somewhere with majestic mountains, gloriously green vistas, a waterfall or two, and hardly any people.  But financially and job-wise, that isn’t practical.  Plus, I still have to be relatively close to culture and my positive support system. 

Introvert and extrovert, remember?

The next ideal would be to own and run a bed and breakfast on an old farm.  That way, I have a short commute, I get to wake up, be creative and hospitable, and meet new people.  And I can schedule alone time.  Actually, this should be first on my list of solutions because it really is one of my dearest dreams.  So dear, that when I read about a couple who is doing just that, the woman sounded so much like me I couldn’t continue the article.  However, like most dreams, this one isn’t practical right now either.

The biggest problem with both these ideas is that they are doable, but only in the long term.  I need a short term save or the well will run dry, the crops will die, and I will be facing the creative and emotional equivalent of the Dust Bowl. 

And there my friends, is where I am stumped.  And I very much fear that until a solution can be found, I will continue to stay in the Land of Nod only three to four hours a night.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

Are you suffering from sanctuary deprivation?  How are you surviving?  Any ideas to breaking the drought cycle?

Distractions: Hinder or Help Your Art?

I don’t think it’s a bad idea for a writer to have a day job. . . .The thing I’ve learned about creativity is that it can’t always be forced.  Some things just take time. . . .Writing is simply not a linear process.

~ Christine Amsden, How I Wrote My First Book

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nd yet, that’s just it isn’t it?  That some projects take time.  And if  you have other obligations, and other deadlines, those things will intrude upon your creative time.

I’ll admit, there are times when the fear of a looming deadline kicks my procrastinating bottom into gear and the ideas fly out of my head faster than my fingers can type them out.  But if it’s a project that requires a little more thought, or a whole lot of research, then a tight deadline is not my friend.  And in my world, deadlines really only become tight because something else popped up that needed to be done, and the project that was due tomorrow is now due in an hour.

And that’s when inspiration decides to take a vacation and I’m left staring at a blank page in full panic mode.

Personalization, Location, Motivation

I think the key to finding your artistic groove is to work with your personality type.  For Christine Amsden, having to fit her writing schedule around naps and bedtime (she’s also a stay at home mom) makes the hours she does write more productive.  But it would drive me nuts!  I know this about myself (even though I don’t have children) because outside interruptions when I’m working on something creative, I lose my rhythm, get frazzled, and then once I’m able to come back to it, the well is dry.  Or worse ~ everything I’ve done up to that point on it sounds (or looks) awful.

Another example is my friend Sullivan.  He produces some of his best writings while sitting in a noise crowd in a café or diner or even at the mall ~ which you wouldn’t think would be his style because he’s an introvert.  But he did grow up in NYC, so crowd noise, the rush of humanity all around him, is like a background symphony.  It helps him focus.  Me the extrovert (with an introvert’s heart)?  I grew up in the country, so peace and quiet and the background music of birds and insects, and the wind in the trees ~ that helps me focus.



© Michael Novelo



As for motivation, well, I’ve told you that fear (more often than I’d like!) motivates me to get projects completed.  But some people freeze when they’re given a tight deadline.  They’re motivated more by a to do list that they check off:  Chapter 1 – done! Yippee!  Others are motivated by rewards ~ whether material or otherwise.  This has never worked for me either: I can remember my mom trying to get me to clean my room when I was about eight or nine, and promising to pay me or buy me something if I did.  I would just shrug and say, “Nah.  I don’t need it.”  What she never picked up on was that if she had said, “Clean or you can’t read that new book you got at the library” then that room would have been eat off the floor spotless.

Distraction…

Sometimes, however, none of these things work because your brain just isn’t wired to block things out and you have the attention span of a pebble.  But pebbles don’t have….oh.  Let me tell you, ADD and ADHD are real (although I wish I had more “H” in my brand of it!) and not always fun.  I like to think of it as being a different kind of brilliant ~ after all, my brain can grasp so many different ideas, etc, that it couldn’t possibly be bothered to. . .hey!  Look at that article!  I need to write about that. . .oh.  Sorry!

See what I mean?

…or Prioritization?

If I’m having a good day brain-wise, I’ve found that prioritizing my tasks can help keep me on track.  But I make sure to tell myself that this list is a reminder and not a strait-jacket.  Otherwise, my inner artist goes into tantrum mode at what she perceives as being “confining” and then nothing gets done. 

Ahh, the things we tell ourselves.

Since I need to feed myself as well as my imagination, having a day job is necessity.  And in the end, I fall somewhere in between: being around people motivates me, but it needs to be in a place with minimal distractions.

If only I were a morning person. . .

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

What motivates you?  Does having a day job help or hinder your creativity?

The Artistic Soul: Finding Sanctuary

He appeared upon the upper platform, still bearing the gipsy in his arms, still running wildly along, still shouting 'Sanctuary!' and the crowd still applauding. At last he made a third appearance on the summit of the tower of the great bell. From thence he seemed to show exultingly to the whole city the fair creature he had saved; and his thundering voice, that voice which was heard so seldom, and which he never heard at all, thrice repeated with frantic vehemence, even in the very clouds, 'Sanctuary! Sanctuary! Sanctuary!

~ Victor Hugo, The Hunchback of Notre Dame

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very artist needs a sanctuary.

A place of positive energy where imagination and creativity can live and play without fear of judgment or censure.   A cocoon where your ideas can grow and evolve; a room of safety and nourishment.  A greenhouse for ideas.

There is a Season

A good gardener knows that you cannot transplant before the root system is established and the plant has grown strong enough to withstand the changing environment outside.  Put it in the ground too soon, and the sun will scorch the tiny leaves, and excess rain will drown and rot the tender roots.  But transplant at the right time, and the plant will adapt, grow, and thrive despite (or because of) Mother Nature’s volatile personality.

So too with creative ideas.  They need time to grow, and put down roots before being exposed to an outside opinion.

In other words, criticism is a lot like manure: too fresh, and the plants burn to death.  But put on at the right time, and you'll get the sweetest watermelons you've ever tasted!

In How I Wrote My First Book: The Story Behind the Story, author Christine Amsden quotes Orson Scott Card as saying that “before a writer can turn out worthy material, each one will generate at least one million words of pure crap.” 

Yes, there is a time for critiques, edits, ink-filled pages balled up in the trash, painted-over canvases, and discarded notes and lyrics.  But not when the ideas are just beginning to sprout.  You need the time and the space to create your one million words/canvases/music notes of crap. 

And you can’t do that unless you have a sanctuary.

Definition

So just what is a sanctuary?

The Etymology Dictionary defines “sanctuary” as

from Late Latin sanctuarium "a sacred place, shrine,” also "a private room.”  By medieval Church law, fugitives or debtors enjoyed immunity from arrest in churches, hence transferred sense of "immunity from punishment" (late 14c.).

General (non-ecclesiastical) sense of "place of refuge or protection" is attested from 1560s; as "land set aside for wild plants or animals to breed and live" it is recorded from 1879. Under English law, one claiming the right of sanctuary had 40 days to confess and accept permanent banishment.

So not just any greenhouse, but a sacred, private greenhouse, free from punishment.



Ahhh, if only!



Sanctuary. . .from Who or What?

Some artists are blessed enough to have such a room or studio, a place where they can imagine and create undisturbed.  This would be Elysium, and for most artists, it seems just as elusive.  So what if you can’t afford ~ either in time or money ~ such a sacred space?

The key phrase in the definition is free from punishment. 

Even if your sanctuary is a desk in the corner of the living room, or a spot at the kitchen table (some artists actually create better when surrounded by chaos), the most important aspect is that it is designated as an “Artistic Zen Zone.”  While you are imagining and creating, no one is allowed to look at your work in progress.  No one is allowed to criticize, comment, or otherwise offer negative opinions ~ no matter how “helpful” they may seem.

And that “no one” includes you.

Because, let’s be honest.  Our harshest critic is sitting in our chair, looking at the blank page/canvas/etc and saying,  

“You can’t do this.” 

“It’s been done before, and by better artists.” 

“Who wants to read what you think?”

“Your mother/father was right: you should have majored in business.”

Nuh uh.  Not allowed.  As Bob Newhart would say, “Stop It!”



Far from the maddening crowd. . .and nosy family members!

Imagining the Good

Artists are blessed with vivid, very active imaginations.  Mine runs like a film, complete with soundtrack, almost 24/7.  So why do we use this incredible power to imagine what we cannot or should not do!? 

I will be the first to admit my guilt here.  I am very good at imagining all the negative things people will say about anything I write, or wear, or cook, or think.  So good at it in fact, that I feel the negative emotions that comes from the imagined criticisms.  This is not healthy, either for the creative spirit, or the body. 

If the whole point of imagining is to bring that imagined idea, story, character, etc, into existence, then by imagining the negative, we are bringing that idea into existence.  If you imagine that you can’t write that novel, then you won’t.  If you don’t believe in it, it doesn’t have a chance.

So, first rule of the creative sanctuary?  You don’t talk about “I can’t.”  The second rule?  Let go and plant as many imagnative seeds as you want.

There will be plenty of time for weeding and pruning later in the season.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

Do you have a sanctuary?  What does it look like?

Abbey of the Arts Lenten Photo Party

To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one's self....
And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one's self.

~ Søren Kierkegaard

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ent is a great time to examine the resolutions and goals we made at the beginning of the new year, and assess where we are.  A place to stop, rest, and re-center ourselves.  An opportunity to refocus our energy and take care of our heart and our soul.

Personally, I could use forty-days of peace and quiet to figure out where the heck I’m going in 2013.  I feel a little like Persephone ~ stuck between darkness and light, passion and duty.  Here at the beginning, it is enough to observe the different paths around me.  Then I shall choose a new adventure to embark upon.

In that spirit of exploration, Abbey of the Arts is hosting another Photo Party. Details from Christine V. Paintner below. 

Welcome to the Abbey Photo Party!

I select a theme and invite you to respond with images.

Lent begins this week on Ash Wednesday, that beautiful ritual of acknowledging our earthiness and limitations, and responding to the call to enter deeply into this sacred time of prayer and practice. This week, go on a photo pilgrimage, holding the start of Lent in your heart, and notice what images are shimmering in the world around you.

You can share images you already have which illuminate the theme, but I encourage you also to go for a walk with the theme in mind and see what you discover.   You are also welcome to post photos of any other art you create inspired by the theme. See what stirs your imagination!

How to participate:

1. Go to the Flickr Group I have created. You need a free Flickr account first. When you go to the link it will ask you to join the group first before posting. Share as many as five of your images in response to the theme.

2. Leave a comment at this post to let us know you have joined the party and what your Flickr profile name is (you must include this to be entered into the drawing).

3. Please post the invitation on your blog or Facebook page and encourage others to come join the party!

On Friday, February 15th– I will draw a name at random from those who participate and the winner will receive a space in one of my Self-Study Online Classes (with a choice from Soul of a Pilgrim, Eyes of the Heart, Water Wind Earth & Fire, Seasons of the Soul, or Lectio Divina)

I will post my contribution here once I take the picture.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

If you participate, share links to your blog here and on Christine’s page!

The Authentic Artist: Is Honesty Really the Best Policy?

Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom. 
~ Thomas Jefferson

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f my personality type was a religion, authencity would be one of the founding tenets.  When someone is not being authentic and true to themselves, it sticks in my craw like yesterday’s spinach.  And when I’m not being authentic and true to myself, I feel like I’ve kicked a two-week old puppy.

But is honesty and authenticity really the best policy when it comes to art, and in particular to writing?

Case in point: I was laid up for the better part of a month because of medical issues.  Conventional blogging wisdom says that I should have had several posts/articles on back up to post when my brain wass not in the position to write and post something on my normal Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.  On the one hand, I see the wisdom in that.  I follow blogs and authors.  When they don’t post in weeks, I wonder what’s going on.  I wonder whether they’re sick, going through family troubles, or just have a major case of writer's block.  And I know when I’m unable to post, I feel guilty, like I’m letting my readers down ~ like friends I'm suddenly not speaking to anymore.

On the other hand is authenticity.  And scheduling posts feels like I’m letting my readers down in a different way, as if it's deceitful to post something that I may have written months or years ago.  Yes, it’s still me, still my thoughts, still my opinions.  But it doesn’t seem gritty or real enough: "Hey!  I’m dying over here, but I’m going to pretend like everything is peachy keen and normal.  You won’t know a thing is wrong because posts keep getting published."

Then again, perhaps I'm overthinking this.  It won't be the first time I've been accused of that.  But I think it's a valid question: how real do you want your artist/writer to be?

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

I would love to hear from both artists and audience on this question.