Showing posts with label Help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Help. Show all posts

16 May 2014

The Nest: More Care and Feeding for Depressed Friends

It’s easy to minimize a person’s hurt without understanding the nature of pain. People often like to categorize how much a person should or shouldn’t hurt about things. For example, when someone is upset about something, they say, “At least you’re not paralyzed, or starving in Africa.” While it’s imperative to be grateful for what we have, I think people often mistaken the nature of pain, when they ‘categorize’ in this way. The criteria for how much something hurts is not dependent on the thing itself.
~ Yasmin Mogahed


May is National Mental Health Awareness Month.  Join me in blogging to erase the stigma of mental illness so our loved ones can seek the help they need.



L
etting go of an idea ~ no matter how good it was, or might still be ~ is really okay when it’s not working for you anymore.

Oh, so you noticed no more Top Fives on Friday, have you?

Well, it began as a post idea from some blog challenge many challenges ago that was supposed to be the “easy” post.  You know ~ in case you suffer from blogger’s block, just throw a top five list together and voila!  So I picked Five, because that was substantial without being crazy and posted them on Fridays because I like alliteration.

But pretty soon my arch nemesis, Perfectionism, reared her head and suddenly, making lists became the toughest post to write.  Because I didn’t want to send you to sites I hadn’t actually visited ~ at least once.  Or recommend books I hadn’t read.  I wanted to add value to your life, not fluff.

And sometimes, when you suffer from depression (or any other mental or emotional illness), the amount of energy it takes to do that just isn’t there.

The Nest
As I was brainstorming what to talk about today, I did have some great ideas for future posts, though.  Why is my brain like that?!  Argh!

But since today is generally a kind of laid back, weekend is almost here kind of day, I try to save the not so serious posts for Friday.

Okay, fine.  This is actually an excuse for me to cruise Pinterest for hours on end and finish my beta reading project.  As well as that new Elizabeth Hunter book.

But you’ll love this anyway:
 
Image credit: Pinterest/robot-hugs.com
See?  How cute is that?! 

Aaannnd, it perfectly illustrates another aspect of care and feeding of friends with depression that I mentioned last week.  Sometimes, you just need to build us a nest.  And sometimes, you just need to curl up in there with us.

No need for grand gestures of support.  Just be creative. 

Build an old fashioned table fort with sheets like you did when you were a kid.
Get out your sleeping bags and have a movie night/slumber party.
Clear your to do list for a day and stay in your PJs all day.
Have breakfast in bed.
Buy a hammock and fill it with pillows and soft blankets and rest under the trees.

You'll comfort us (even if we don't show it) and you'll recharge your care-giver batteries too.

Oremus pro invicem,
~ Mikaela

What kind of “nest” would you build?  What kind of “nest” would you want built for you?

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07 May 2014

I'm Too Tired to Go Out: The Care and Feeding of Depressed Friends

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.
~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free


May is National Mental Health Awareness Month.  Join me in blogging to erase the stigma of mental illness so our loved ones can seek the help they need.



M
isery loves company. Especially if that company also enjoys watching episodes of Psych.

A few weeks ago, I suggested to one of my local gal pals that we needed to institute a regular Girls Night In with Fake TV Boyfriends.  As we’re both WhoLock fans and Psych nerds, this turned out to be a brilliant plan.

Until the other night, when we realized that we really weren’t in our twenties anymore and apparently couldn’t handle two bottles of hard cider and talking until 3am.

But despite our cranked out sleepiness the next day, we discovered that we were better for having laughed, cried, and eaten comfort food together.

We took comfort in the fact that we were in this mental illness dance together.

The Care and Feeding of Depressed Friends
It’s tough to know what to do for your friends who are depressed.  Even though I suffer from it, I’m at a loss for words sometimes.

Image credit: Shiny Starr Light

So here’s my Top Ten list of how to care and feed your friends who are depressed.

1.       Find out what their Love Language is.
2.      Send them a card or write them a note.
3.      Give them a call.
4.      Listen.
5.      Make a care package for them.
6.      Go over for a visit.
7.      Take them shopping.  Not for clothes.
8.     Schedule a spa date for the two of you.
9.      Send them flowers.
10.  Bring/cook them dinner.

The key is to listen and engage with them.  Respect their level of energy.  If it’s really low, stay in and watch movies and order pizza.  If they’re having a good day, go get massages. Bottom line?  Let them know you care and that they’re loved and not alone.  

You don’t know whose life you may be saving with that unexpected phone call.

Oremus pro invicem,
~ Mikaela

Show your friend support today!

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