17 January 2006

A Perfect Seven

It is not time or opportunity that is to determine intimacy; it is disposition alone. Seven years would be insufficient to make some people acquainted with each other, and seven days are more than enough for others.
~ Jane Austen
I promised a little explanation as to my newest composition, Seven and some of you have been nagging me to post about it. So here it is.

A while back, some girlfriends and I were chatting about ~ what else? ~ marriage in general and men in particular. After each of us listed our “perfect ten” (i.e. things like a strong faith, understanding, kindness and for some of us, earthiness) the question was asked, “Well, if that is a perfect ten, then what constitutes a seven?” At what point does one draw the line and say ~ I could never be happy married to someone who did not do X or does not have quality Y.

You might be tempted to think that we had had one too many margaritas (wait ~ is there such a thing?!) But we had all been betrayed or hurt in past relationships and these questions helped us to move beyond emotion and see what were essential qualities that under no circumstances should be compromised on and what were non-essentials that could be sacrificed. More than half of us had given in on certain non-essentials and essentials for the sake of “love” and peace. What most of us ended up with was a shadow of ourselves and with a person we no longer respected. We had settled for something less than we were capable of and had accepted treatment that we didn’t deserve.

Out of this conversation, came Seven ~ a song about fighting against falling in love with someone who doesn’t necessarily fit the mold of one’s ideal:
Though you’re not the one
I still come undone;
I can’t stop myself from falling.*
The singer is cautious, and questions whether what she is feeling is “love or loneliness” recognizing that “both are dangerous.” In the end however, she realizes that this person has many essential qualities and that perhaps he fits her best. He has proven himself a worthy match:
Nothing left unspoken;
Only the love in your eyes,
And your word unbroken.*

A “perfect seven” therefore, is someone unexpected. Someone that you never considered to balance you and suit you as a spouse. But since they have proven themselves worthy of your hand and their love has been tested, then they are better for you than any ten could be.

And no, I am not going to write a post defining exactly what I mean by earthiness. Only a perfect seven would know. ;o)
Oremus pro invicem,
Mikaela
*© 2006 Silver Scroll Productions
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