Writing is a relationship that you choose to have. Commit to
being loyal, devoted, and faithful to it. Give it your attention.
~ The Write Life
~ The Write Life
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O
|
h! You’re a writer? That’s not hard work ~ I could do that! It’s not like you’re working in a mine on a
12 hour shift.”
I
often hear some variation of this statement.
So often, that a little piece of the typewriter inside me breaks each time. So often, I wonder why I
write at all. So often, that I begin to believe the lie.
And
for a writer, that spells doom.
Yes,
there are moments ~ sometimes whole days of them ~ when writing feels
effortless. As if I can just speak a
Potteresque “I solemnly swear I am a writer” and the words magically appear on
the page. When ideas flow over me like rapids in a river. And affirmations and comments pop up like
dandelions on my blog.
But
if I believe that writing (or any of the arts, really) is always effortless,
the moment it ceases to be and becomes arduous and monotonous and boring, I
quit. I feel sad, discouraged. Or restless and uneasy. Like an addict, I rush to fill that gnawing
ache in my gut with minutes on Twitter, hours on Facebook, and days on
Pinterest.
Yet
no matter how many times I tweet, update my status, or pin images of wise sayings
~ that gaping hole inside never gets filled.
This
cycle of starts and stops, excitement and discouragement has been my life for
as long as I can remember. I felt
powerless to change it, sometimes not even aware the cycle was repeating until
my pens and paper had long collected dust.
No matter how many times my friends would tell me I needed to write. No
matter how many writing courses I took.
No matter how many articles on writing and being a better writer I
read. Nothing pierced the thick walls of
doubt and discouragement. Nothing
convinced me that I had a gift, much less one worth sharing.
Until
Harvester Island.
At
the Wilderness
Writing Workshop, I was surrounded by loving, accepting, talented writers. Writers who read my work, showed me where it
needed improvement, and declared it a gift worth sharing. A gift worth honing.
A
gift worth the hard work and commitment.
In
the ensuing weeks after my return home, I rode a high, cocooned in a writerly
honeymoon stage. The writing was
copious, effortless, easy. Not hard work
at all. But as time wore on, and outside
influences ~ negative influences ~ pressed in, I forgot. Forgot that love ~ of any kind ~ demands
commitment, patience, and work.
It
wasn’t long before the ink dried up, the words disappeared, and my heart shut
down.
I
tried to ignore it, that ache. Filled my
time with social media and throwaway books.
Sometimes, this would backfire. I
would read something and think, That
position is outrageous! I need to write
an article about that. Or a thought
would come to me, I’d talk it out in my head and think, When I get to my desk, I need to
write this down.
But
it never happened. I never wrote those
articles or jotted down my thoughts and reflections. Because who was I kidding? No one wants to hear what I have to say. And even if they did, nothing I write comes
out perfect. My first drafts are
terrible ~ rambling, emotional, boring.
Despite
this inner angsty whirlpool, I managed to write pieces here and there. Usually completed a couple of days before my
monthly writers’ group at Water
Street Studio. Except I went to the
last meeting empty handed. I had a piece
at home, a first draft so bad even I was bored and disgusted with it. So I didn’t share it. And that night, warmth and love broke through the negativity. Again.
But
that’s what this group is for! To share
our works in progress, to bounce ideas off each other, and work on our writing, no matter how crappy our first drafts. You're in a safe place.
I almost cried with
gratitude and relief. It was as if I
needed permission to write crap. Permission
to work hard, to write and rewrite and rewrite again. To have first and second and third drafts
that even a gossip rag wouldn’t print.
Because that’s what a writer does: she sits in a chair even when she
doesn’t want to and wrestles with words and ideas.
You could even say, she mines for them.
Oremus pro invicem,
~
Mikaela
Are you committed to your art?
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