Learn from the puppies: don't clutter where you live.
~
James L. Papandrea
T
|
is the end
of December, and you know what that means - Pinterest is brimming with a million ways to organize your home, office, and life!
Perhaps it’s
because we need something to do post-holiday binge. Perhaps it’s because we now have even more redundant, unnecessary stuff and
need to get rid of last year’s redundant, unnecessary stuff.
Whatever
the reason, the explosion of articles, pictures, and ideas provides some much
needed comic relief. And since de-cluttering
and organizing is only a rapturous joy for a very few sad people, and an
overwhelming chore and quickly abandoned resolution for the rest of us, might
as well laugh about it.
 |
| Image: Google search |
Perusing
the various boards on Pinterest, I’ve notived ten things that professional
organizers assume:
1) You
have nothing else to do.
Making pen
holders out of cereal boxes and toilet paper roll holders? Really?
2) You are
a hoarder.
Why do you
even have those toilet paper rolls lying around to be made into insane pen
holders?!?
3) You
have no social life.
Ain’t
nobody got time for that! You're busy wrapping toilet paper holders with fabric,
old wrapping paper, and wallpaper!
4) You
have either no interest in alcohol or plebeian tastes.
Seriously,
a counter-top wine rack?! What happened
to clearing the counter of all clutter?! Uh, hello?
Not to mention, those big blocky things only hold 6 to 8 bottles of
wine. Who only has 6 to 8 bottles of
wine at a time?
5) Your
laundry room is the size of a small, rich country.
Dude, if
my laundry was THAT big, I wouldn't have so much trouble keeping it organized! Heck, I could probably afford a maid to do
it!
6) Your family
shares 3 coats.
Standing
coat racks aren’t just impractical, they’re mistaken for the Bogey Man when you
come downstairs for a 2 AM glass of wine from your in-the-way counter-top wine
rack.
Or you’re
single, in which case, the Bogey Man scenario is even worse.
7) You
don’t own enough redundant, unnecessary stuff.
Because
that tree branch/old leather purse strap office supply holder may look chic, but the sheer amount of
office supplies and pens that I own would break that twig in half.
8) You
have no friends. Or never have them
over.
A blanket
chest to replace under the bed bins – ha!
I like to keep my guests comfy, thank you. One large blanket would fill that – again,
pretty but impractical – chest, forget about the four other queen sized
blankets. Plus, you just told me to pack
away seasonal items!
9) You
bathe once a week.
Rolling up
bath towels is just weird. And time
consuming. And frustrating. Did I mention weird? If you have no friends, no social life, and
do nothing else all day but make pen holders out of toilet paper rolls, you might
have time to roll up your two or three towels and store them in a
dust-collecting basket. But it’s weird.
Unless you
live in a beautiful and remote area (like Alaska for instance) and really do
bathe just once a week. That would be perfectly
acceptable - except that they think it's weird too.
10) You never
actually DO anything in your house - you just sleep there.
A long
commute to work does make this seem true.
But that just means you don’t need to look at the clutter!
Happy New Year!
Oremus pro invicem,
~
Mikaela
