Letting Go: Lessons from Kodiak and a Photography Party

You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don't have something better.

~ C. JoyBell C.

The Harvester Island Wilderness Workshop was incredible.  I went to write with 11 strangers, and I left with 15 new friends.  In the coming weeks, I’ll be posting my photos and thoughts on the workshop and on the beauties of Kodiak, Alaska.

I

am torn.

Ever since I returned from Harvester Island, I have felt pulled in two opposing directions:

Move clear across the country and live with a view of mountains.

Move further out to the country, but stay within driving distance of friends and family.

My week in Alaska was a gift, a break from the stress and emotional drain of living with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.  It was therapeutic as well ~ I haven’t cried that much in a long time (except maybe in my therapist’s office).  The unconditional acceptance and yes, love that I experienced from my fellow writers was surprising and healing.

And the views.  You know I’m going to mention the views.

 

But in addition to the peace and tranquility, my time cuddled in Kodiak’s majestic embrace also gave rise to some tough, potentially life-changing questions: 

Have I become too complacent?

Do I need to make a change geographically?

Do I want to move away from all I've known for a good reason? Or as an escape?

If I do move, do I have the strength to be a wayfarer for a little while?

All of these questions involve letting go: of old defense mechanisms, of old ways of thinking. Letting go of guilt - both real and imagined and that was placed on me by others.  Of old fears and self-imposed obstacles that kept my heart stagnate and locked behind a fortress so old and impenetrable, even my rusty key didn’t work anymore.

And then the winds of Uyak Bay blew around and through me, clearing my head of all those mental and emotional dust bunnies.  The Alaskan sun danced off the water and burned away the soot of fear and the broken bits of my past.  The beauty of the mountains and the ocean and the wildlife grabbed me by the heart and shook all those old locks and bars until they crumbled at my feet. 

It was both exhilarating and scary as hell.

I don’t like change.  I don’t know anyone who does (well, except one of my sisters ~ she seems to move every quarter).  Change for change’s sake is not always a wise thing.  But change because it is time and nothing, absolutely nothing, can truly remain static ~ that kind of change is an impetus for growth. 

That kind of change also means that I will have to let go of something good in order to embrace something better.  I don’t have any answers to those questions yet.  So my meditation and self-reflection for the next 5½ months is that no matter where the road takes me, I will be able to accept it with peace and humility.

And the strength to remain present to the journey.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

This post was inspired by the Abbey of the Arts Photography Party.  If you would like to join us on this visual meditation, post your photo at the link above, or join the Holy Disorder of Dancing Monks on Facebook.

Head Over to the Photo Party!

Spring makes its own statement, so loud and clear
that the gardener seems to be only one of the instruments, not the composer. 
~ Geoffrey B. Charlesworth

S

aturday some seeds finally went in to the ground, thanks to my friend Megers ~ with a little help from the feet of her daughters!  And then, today it snows!

Thank goodness the seeds are lettuce and kale ~ they should be fine.

And yet, even with the snow, spring is definitely on the way: peepers are out in full force, singing their little hearts out for a mate, the bulbs are crawling all over the place, some with blooms already, and Abbey of the Arts is hosting another Photo Party! Details from Christine V. Paintner below.

Welcome to the Abbey Photo Party!

Christine selects a theme and invites you to respond with images.

"Springtime begins in the northern hemisphere on Wednesday, the time of great flowering on the earth offering hope of new possibilities emerging.

This week, go on a photo pilgrimage, holding the start of springtime in your heart, and notice what images are shimmering in the world around you.

(For my southern hemisphere friends, you are welcome to also share images of the arrival of autumn, or the ways you see signs of spring even in the midst of the season of letting go)

You can share images you already have which illuminate the theme, but I encourage you also to go for a walk with the theme in mind and see what you discover.



New stray who is the spitting image of Flops (d. 12/12)

© 2013 Mikaela D’Eigh

 You are also welcome to post photos of any other art you create inspired by the theme.  See what stirs your imagination!"

How to participate:
1. Go to the Flickr Group Christine has created. You need a free Flickr account first (go to the Flickr home page and click "Sign up now.")  When you go to the link it will ask you to join the group first before posting.  Share up to five of your images in response to the theme.

2. Leave a comment below her blog post to let us know you have joined the party and what your Flickr profile name is (you must include this to be entered into the prize drawing).

3. Please post the invitation on your blog or Facebook page and encourage others to come join the party!

On Friday, March 22nd – Christine will draw a name at random from those who participate and the winner will receive a space in one of her upcoming online class Eyes of the Heart: Photography as a Contemplative Practice (April 28-June 15, 2013) and a copy of her new book which the class accompanies.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

If you participate, share links to your blog here and on Christine’s page!

Abbey of the Arts Lenten Photo Party

To venture causes anxiety, but not to venture is to lose one's self....
And to venture in the highest is precisely to be conscious of one's self.

~ Søren Kierkegaard

L

ent is a great time to examine the resolutions and goals we made at the beginning of the new year, and assess where we are.  A place to stop, rest, and re-center ourselves.  An opportunity to refocus our energy and take care of our heart and our soul.

Personally, I could use forty-days of peace and quiet to figure out where the heck I’m going in 2013.  I feel a little like Persephone ~ stuck between darkness and light, passion and duty.  Here at the beginning, it is enough to observe the different paths around me.  Then I shall choose a new adventure to embark upon.

In that spirit of exploration, Abbey of the Arts is hosting another Photo Party. Details from Christine V. Paintner below. 

Welcome to the Abbey Photo Party!

I select a theme and invite you to respond with images.

Lent begins this week on Ash Wednesday, that beautiful ritual of acknowledging our earthiness and limitations, and responding to the call to enter deeply into this sacred time of prayer and practice. This week, go on a photo pilgrimage, holding the start of Lent in your heart, and notice what images are shimmering in the world around you.

You can share images you already have which illuminate the theme, but I encourage you also to go for a walk with the theme in mind and see what you discover.   You are also welcome to post photos of any other art you create inspired by the theme. See what stirs your imagination!

How to participate:

1. Go to the Flickr Group I have created. You need a free Flickr account first. When you go to the link it will ask you to join the group first before posting. Share as many as five of your images in response to the theme.

2. Leave a comment at this post to let us know you have joined the party and what your Flickr profile name is (you must include this to be entered into the drawing).

3. Please post the invitation on your blog or Facebook page and encourage others to come join the party!

On Friday, February 15th– I will draw a name at random from those who participate and the winner will receive a space in one of my Self-Study Online Classes (with a choice from Soul of a Pilgrim, Eyes of the Heart, Water Wind Earth & Fire, Seasons of the Soul, or Lectio Divina)

I will post my contribution here once I take the picture.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

If you participate, share links to your blog here and on Christine’s page!

Abbey of the Arts Poetry Party!

Poetry is a mirror which makes beautiful that which is distorted. 

~ Percy Shelley

T

ime for another Poetry Party at Abbey of the Arts. 

This time Christine V. Paintner has chosen community as her inspiration.  To join in the fun, take a look at the photo and write a poem about community.  When I hear the word community, I think of close friends, neighbors, who form a warm and supportive circle around me ~ a circle which I participate it ~ giving and taking.  Sometimes I give more, sometimes I take more.  In a real community, no one keeps an account. 

Or at least, we shouldn’t.

For some, community may mean stifling, adverse peer pressure, keeping up with the rich neighbors.  But that’s not a community at all ~ that’s just strangers living in proximity of each other, or loved ones living like strangers.

Here is my contribution:

The push and pull

Of flesh and blood

Never lets up.

Like a security blanket

Outgrown –

Tattered and thin.

It can still choke

The life breath

Out of creativity.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

What does community mean to you?

Abbey of the Arts 60th Poetry Party!

Poetry is nearer to vital truth than history. 
~ Plato

C

hristine over at the Abbey of the Arts is hosting her 60^th Poetry Party!

Here are the rules: Christine chooses a photo, we write a poem inspired by it, and post it in the comments on her blog.  This party’s theme is Silence and Solitude.  More information here.   Come party with us!



© 2012 Christine V. Paintner

Below is my contribution.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

Silencio
Silence
Is sometimes golden

or so I hear.

Today it only brings me
the parry and thrust
of endless inner voices
Taunting.

To do lists,
Appointments
Visits
I should make
Conflicts I want to avoid

Life.

Still,
when the rare moment comes
and all is hushed
within and without,
there is forgetfulness
and peace –

And blessed nothing.

To do,
To say,
To hope
To feel,
To repress,
or address.

Just me and the silver of quiet.
© 2012 Mikaela D’Eigh

Abbey of the Art Poetry Party #59: The Threshold of Summer!

Poets are soldiers that liberate words from the steadfast possession of definition. 
~ Eli Khamarov
Note: I usually post my writerly thoughts on Mondays, but I just returned from vacation and a bad bout with food poisoning.  So I’m a day late.  Sorry for the delay! ~ MD

 

C

hristine Valters Painter continues her Poetry Party from her new nest in Vienna, Austria. This month’s theme: the threshold of summer. You are invited to write a poem and then post the image below (with a link back to Abbey of the Arts) and an invitation on your blog, Facebook page, and Twitter.

My contribution coming soon.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

Even if you’ve never written poetry, be not afraid to try; there are no mistakes, only creative play.

Poetry Party #58

Poetry is a packsack of invisible keepsakes. 

~ Carl Sandburg

 

A

 bbey of the Arts is hosting another Poetry Party!  Christine inspires us with a beautiful photo and words of encouragement:

“…we are entering the season of summer – a time of ripeness and illumination. Write a poem this week in celebration of summer's glories and gifts.  Let's savor and relish the world's fullness together through the written word.”

What does this picture inspire in you?  Write your thoughts and feelings and memories of summer in a poem and paste it in the comment section over at the Abbey!  I’ll be writing one of my own this week.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

Abbey's 57th Poetry Party!

Poetry is just the evidence of life.  If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash. 

~ Leonard Cohen

I

 t’s another Poetry Party at Abbey of the Arts! This month’s theme: the center and the edges. You are invited to write a poem and then post the image below (with a link back to Abbey of the Arts) and an invitation on your blog, Facebook page, and Twitter.

(C) Christine Valters Painter

Can’t wait to see you at the party!

My contribution below ~ a little dark, I’ll admit.  It was one of those days.

Oremus pro invicem,

Mikaela

So often I’ve come to the door seeking sanctuary,

a place to shut out the silence

of pain;

and to forget

the utter loneliness

Of being human

and other.

“Knock and it shall be opened.”

But the door is locked

By some unseen part of my past --

Unmet needs

Hurts unhealed

Unloved lesions left by

Hearts unfeeling.

Does it really matter?

The door remains shut

Dark, cold,

And silent.

Outside, unimpeded,

The rain berates my shivering skin.

If only another would raise

The unyielding iron

And gain access;

Or shout for the inside to open up.

I’ve screamed until my lungs bled

And the chords shattered on shards

Of despair.

But only my pain thunders

back to me

As tears streak the windows.

©30 April 2012 – M. D’Eigh

You're Invited to Abbey's 54th Poetry Party!

Poetry is what gets lost in translation. 

~ Robert Frost

Christine over at Abbey of the Arts is hosting her 54th Poetry Party!  This party’s inspiration: the bare trees of winter. We are invited to write a poem and then post the image below (with a link back to Abbey of the Arts) and an invitation on our blogs, Facebook pages, and Twitter.

Invite your friends to the party!

My contribution to the party:

The Naked Tree

Alone and forgotten

She stands straight.

Each gust of wind bends her back -

Bends but doesn’t break.

She stretches her limbs

Up, up

Toward the pale sun

And touches his warmth

In a fleeting embrace.

As the days wane

And the nights trace

Her outline by the moonglow,

She is transparent,

Vulnerable –

Stripped naked.

Still, none can see

The hope of spring

Hidden

Deep, deep

In her hibernating heart.

Oremus pro invicem,

Mikaela

Word Count Blogathon Day 26: The Abbey's 51st Poetry Party

A poem should create a momentary enchantment.

~ Dana Gioia

Don’t you just love parties!? I do ~ especially poetry parties!  And Christine Valters Painter over at Abbey of the Arts is hosting her 51^st Poetry Party!  Here’s how it works:



photo courtesy of Abbey of the Arts



Christine picks an image, suggests a theme and title and you write a poem or poetic reflection in response.  If you have a blog, post it on your blog and then post the link at the Poetry Party.  Then tomorrow, Christine will pick a random name and that lucky poet will win a space in one of her courses: Eyes of the Heart: Photography as Contemplative Practice and Water, Wind, Earth & Fire: Praying with the Elements .

My poem inspired by the tree image is below.  What poetry or poetic thoughts does the image bring to your mind?

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

The Old Maple

© 26 May 2011, Mikaela D’Eigh

The tree stands tall

And old –

had already sunk its roots deep into the heart

when we arrived thirty odd years ago.

Who knows

how long

it stood watch over lilac, pine, barn and cow,

its trunk full of secrets and memories.

How it comforted

            brothers –

one blue, one gray, lying beneath its shade,

leaving only bullets and bones behind.

And the rain

            silent, sad

that mingled with mother’s tears

when Flanders’ fields kept back her sons.

Then, ah peace!

A child, small

there found Austen and Bilbo

among the wide and changing leaves.

And solved mysteries

            with Nancy

and the Twins and the Boxcar Children

while cradled in its strong and loving arms.

I stand now before it

            a woman grown –

my life thick with experience and history

my heart full of secrets and memories.

This tree, this land

            strong, solid --

brings the comfort as of old friends,

and keeps me grounded and alive.

An Abbey Poetry Party

The act of putting pen to paper encourages pause for thought,

this in turn makes us think more deeply about life,

which helps us regain our equilibrium. 

~ Norbet Platt

It's a poetry party and you're inivited!  Christine Valters Painter at Abbey of the Arts is hosting a poetry party and you're invited!  I just discovered Christine's beautiful and peaceful blog.  It is like a virtual meditation garden!  Thank you for hosting, Christine!

My contribution to the party:

Green blades, tiny

Strong from the struggle,

the primal desire

to catch the caress of the sun

if only for a few hours,

finally push their way through earth’s jealous heart.

© March 2011 Mikaela D’Eigh

Happy [almost] spring writing!

Oremus pro invicem,
~ Mikaela