There is, of course, always the personal satisfaction of writing
down one's experiences so they may be saved, caught and pinned under glass,
hoarded against the winter of forgetfulness.
~ Anne Morrow Lindbergh, North
to the Orient
In August, I’m participating in BlogHer’s
Blogging Challenge. The theme this month
is: Hot.
W
|
hat a time capsule
this blog has become.
Yesterday I was
combing through old blog posts looking for inspiration for new posts; I had forgotten
how Romantic and verbose I used to be.
And yet, you haven’t abandoned
me yet, dear readers!
Truth be told, jaded, cynical
me is a little saddened and envious of hopeful, Romantic me. Reading those old posts, it all comes back in
a rush: the old excitement of preparing a feast for my friends, the quiet
contentment of watching and discussing indie movies, reading poetry with other
poets and writers, playing melancholic improvisations on the piano, the windows
thrown wide to the summer breeze and our bemused neighbors.
Eight years later,
hope has flown away for warmer shores. I
wouldn’t go so far as to say that now I’m a person of despair or
morbidity. But I am more wary of hope,
finding that in the past, it was dangled in front of me like a carrot to get me
to think, act, or feel a certain way.
Promises of perfection, a better future, a divine goal.
We were taught to work
off our debt from yesterday’s failures, and put all our eggs in tomorrow’s
basket. But we weren’t taught to live in
the moment. To cherish the time were
given right now. And so many of us fell for the
well-intentioned lie.
Image Credit: Pinterest
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Thankfully, I was a
little too artistic, stubborn, and intuitive to give in to that mentality
completely. Hence the dinner parties,
the embracing of the forgotten, and oft-discarded virtue of hospitality. I lived in the now as much as I could. But I couldn’t ignore the promise of the “golden
future.” And the inevitable happened.
I got tired of
waiting.
These days, it is
tough to hold on even to the beauty of the present moment. Not completely surprising when this little
ship has weathered some crazy storms in the last eight years. Storms which cloud the memory of sunnier
days. Thank goodness for ink. Paper. Journals.
And blog archives.
Blogging is a form of
journaling and many writers use it for this purpose. That has never been my intention, but it has
become a collection of me ~ the essence of who I’ve been, who I’ve become, and
I can only hope, will remain a faithful companion. But of course, it will only keep faith with
me as long as I keep faith with it.
This is why
journaling, and any type of personal writing, is so important. It’s not narcissistic as some believe ~
although I suppose there are diarists who could only write about how
magnificent they look/eat/dress/love/talk.
No, most of us are just trying to make sense of life, our place in it,
capturing the precious, beautiful present moments to remember when memory fails
us, and all our companions are no longer there to help us relive them.
History isn’t a collection of old bones and archaic
battles. It is the memory of life, fully
lived, passionately loved, and bravely fought, written down for as yet unlived
lives to read. Now go live your own history. And let pen and ink remember it for the
person you have yet to become.
You’ll thank you later.
Oremus pro invicem,
~ Mikaela
I’ve had
organizers tell me that I should downsize by taking pictures of things and then
throwing the object itself out. But that only works
if you remember later why you took that picture. Memories are more than visual ~ they are
triggered by touch, smell, and sound.
Who said journaling was just ink spots on a page? Paste pictures, dried flowers, ticket stubs,
fabric ~ whatever! ~ between the pages.
You’re limited only by your imagination.
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