05 August 2013

Hotness is in the Eye of the Beholder


Beauty and femininity are ageless and can't be contrived,
and glamour, although the manufacturers won't like this, cannot be manufactured.
Not real glamour; it's based on femininity.
~ Marilyn Monroe


In August, I’m participating in BlogHer’s Blogging Challenge.  The theme this month is: Hot.


I
am a big hypocrite.

Today’s writing prompt from BlogHer was
“What makes a woman hot? Is it something physical, an intangible personality trait, or something else entirely that labels a person as hot?”
and in my opinion, “hotness” is a term used almost exclusively to describe someone’s physical appearance and little about their true character.  For instance, I think that Benedict Cumberbatch is “hot” but I don’t know the man from Adam.  His mesmerizing voice along with his good looks are captivating, but in real life, he could delight in tearing the wings off of dragonflies, and kicking puppies.  And for some, that would not detract one iota from his “hotness.”  Which is quite shallow and objectifying, really.

But of course, I occasionally revert to an OMG tween and still use the term.

If You Ain’t Got Confidence. . .
Rather, I should ask what makes a person beautiful or attractive.   Because the number one thing that is attractive about a man or a woman is their confidence.  When a person is at home in their own skin, that confidence draws you in, sits you in the easy chair, and hands you your favorite cocktail.  You  just feel at ease and welcomed in their presence.  And that kind of laid back confidence cannot be faked.

Unconditional acceptance is a twin to confidence.  If you're not comfortable in your own skin, you may not be comfortable with someone who is different.  However, if you accept who you are, both the good, the  bad, and the bone-ugly, then you are more likely to be non-judgmental and accepting of others just as they are. 

Two Ears, One Mouth
The second thing that makes someone attractive is unselfishness kindness.  The cup may not runneth over with self-confidence, but if you concentrate on the other person, taking time to really see them and listen to their story, you will forget your own tale of woe and cease to remember all your (real and imagined) imperfections and faults.   And let’s face it, someone who acts like we’re the most important person they could be talking with in that moment?

That’s pretty hot.

Oremus pro invicem,
~ Mikaela

Beauty is both objective and subjective.  What else do you think makes a person beautiful or attractive?

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