Don't Wait Until I'm Dead to Tell Me You Love Me

If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make,
who would you call and what would you say?  And why are you waiting? 
~ Stephen Levine

In August, I’m participating in BlogHer’s Blogging Challenge.  The theme this month is: Hot.

B

etter to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission.  Or as John Mayer put it, “Say what you need to say.”

Why do nasty hurtful words flow out of our mouths like a spring-fed waterfall, but our tongues become dry and tangled when it comes to telling someone we love them?  Is it the same emotional block that enables us to remember every word spoken in anger or hate as if they were precious diamonds, and to immediately relegate anything said out of love, encouragement, or praise to the back of the costume jewelry box?

The Little Mourner 

Frederick Sandys, 1862

My favorite aunt, who died last week, loved me immensely and considered me her favorite niece.

But I never knew that until yesterday.

She had a family of her own, with all the worry, stress, and occasional insanity that comes with it.  And I can’t throw stones: I’m guilty of allowing this grand adventure we call life turn into more of a hamster wheel than a roller coaster ride.  Guiltier perhaps because I know better, and waste more time chasing my proverbial tail when I could be staying in touch and telling loved ones how much I care.  So I’m not blaming her.  Not completely.  Yet it hurts and comforts me at the same time, to know how well she thought of me.

Because now it’s too late to respond in kind.

The lesson here is not to wait for someone else to say “I love you” or “I’m impressed with what you did” or “You are an inspiration to me.”  It’s a lesson that I forget all too quickly and need to be taught again and again.  Say it first.  You never need someone’s permission to say positive things.  Just a heart willing to be vulnerable. 

I love you, Ginny Lee.  You were my favorite, too.

Oremus pro invicem,

~ Mikaela

The greatest wisdom is to love without needing to possess, and to give without expectation.  Who can you encourage, build up, or tell you love them today?